Here I Go!!! – Day 3
I must say, the creative juices are flowing…………at times like thick, mucky sludge and at times like a soothing, crystal clear stream, but flowing none the less. Since I began blogging the ideas have come to me from my gut. Honestly, I will feel with great intensity that I must write about thoughts that are swimming in my head. Those thoughts, in large part, are those of my Sweet Baby Girl. Putting down into words my thoughts and memories, both those of pain and those of joy can be the deep breath cleansing breath to get me through another day. Never before had I dreamt of being “a writer.” In my school career, if asked to “write” anything from a writing prompt I would go into a state of analysis paralysis. Perhaps because I did not, at other times in my life, have a passion for a given topic or activity. Interests, yes, passion, no!
In those early years my many insecurities were much greater than my ability to act. Being terrified to let anyone know what I was truly mulling over in my mind inhibited most creative activities. My writing grades were decent (because that was the expectation) but very mechanical. Checking off the boxes in the rubric was easy enough but filling in box a, b, and c does not usually require much heart.
Where am I going with this?? Good question. The question I am pondering today is, “Do I like to Act?” I guess the answer is……..uuuhhhh NO. For some reason the word “act” when I gave it some thought, brought to mind doing something that requires effort, that is not true to who you are or might want to be. Just sounded like all work and no fun to me. Have you ever been told to “act your age?” Now, I ask you, WHAT fun is that?? “Act professional”, another phrase that has the potential to suck the life right out of you.
Now if that is who you are, I applaud you! If you ooze the necessary skill set to act your age, by all means, pat yourself on the back. However, if you are only acting that way then I feel your pain.
To truly be something or someone rather than act, NOW I think, that is where the fun is to be had.
“To Be or Not to Be”……………I guess that is still the question.