Yay!!! It’s Friday! And contrary to what might be popular belief, we Stay at Home Moms, look forward to Friday like everyone else who is terribly underpaid for their service to others. Except, unlike other workers, I am lucky…I receive sticky, smelly hugs, gluey art and a kiss (if I bribe them) from the Little Men who I work for. In other work environments, I realize that is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Guess that’s the benefit of my work. The boys I work for would never sue, they know that they have traumatized and inflicted more emotional pain and suffering, than the other way around. Unless you, of course, consider the meatloaf I made for dinner last night.
For example, just in the last week, I have been informed by The Big Brother that he thinks the FBI is going to come and “get us”…why? Weeellll, that’s what “the virus” on the computer told him when the warning came up about “downloading” let’s just say…inappropriate material. Which lead to a very uncomfortable conversation about the “P” word, ends in… ography. Having to have this discussion with Johnny is worth a couple of million in damages alone.
That fun event was only to be followed up by the Little Brother bringing smut into our Catholic home. Yep…you guessed it…say it isn’t so…The Little Brother was busted reading, The Old Farmer’s Almanac. Which, I (and “The Teacher” learned the hard way, IS NOT your Granpa’s Almanac. Or maybe it is, and Ol’ Granpa had a Wild Side. Because along with the weather report, The Little Brother was able to learn about “improving life in the bedroom” and certain “enhancing” pharmaceuticals. Oh yeah, he could also order an Asian Bride. And I will swear on a Bible that I did NOT make one word of this up. I would bring out my witnesses but I promised to protect their identity. She’s at Confession right now, anyway.
This week’s statements:
1. I am a ____
2. Sometimes I don’t know when to ____
1. My two favorite words lately are ___________ and ____________
2. I would like ____________ if ____________ didn’t happen
Where do I begin?
1. I am a very loyal person and friend. I get very attached to those who have held me up during these last two years.
2. Sometimes I don’t know when to say when. This would be possibly why I have Three Boys and walk around like the house is on fire.
3. My two favorite words lately are irritated and Almanac (come on, you saw that coming.)
4. I would like to know what life would be like if my days didn’t happen to be a series of “Unfortunate Events” involving Farmers and the FBI.
That’s about it. Have a drink on me and raise a toast to my “sanity.” In the meantime I headed to a local book burning of that Darned Almanac.