I don’t know if I am still invited to the party, so I decided to do what any respectable girl, with not dignity would, and INVITE myself. People are usually just to appalled by such a lack of said dignity and self-respect that they don’t ask me to leave. It’s true, just ask my roommate, “Nurse Mary” from Coronado, CA. I showed up at her “private BBQ” with a cooler of drinks and stood front and center in every picture. She was is such a state of shock I just went ahead and moved my bed in before she could come to…TRUE STORY!
Anywho…since I have been out doing 347 kinds of IN YOUR FACE fun, I thought I would join Hilary at Feeling Beachie for a little Friday Fun. Hilary is an awesome hostess, and I’m sure if she ever met me “in person” she would still let me crash her party and play co-host every once in a while. Weeellll, maybe not if she actually met me, cause who knows what stories “Nurse Mary” would bust out.
So, I don’t know where to begin. The fun has been so over the top, I don’t want to come across as “all that and a bag of chips.” Well, at the very least I should remain meek and humble…right? Not be, “LOOK AT ME, GUESS WHAT I GOT TO DO AND WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.”
I hate to keep you, Dear Reader, in suspense, so I’ll just get on with it. I’ll start with the most exciting event so you can just ride that wave of fun through to the BITTER, and I mean REALLY FUN end.
First, don’t go getting all jealous and everything but here goes…I GOT TO MOVE!!! Yep, that’s right, I actually got the chance, twice in ONE year, to pack all of my belongings and that of 4 other people into boxes, trash bags and a minivan and move around the corner and then ATTEMPT to unpack all belongings of myself and the OTHER 4 people. And listen close, because I don’t mean to brag, but…I GOT TO DO IT WITH MY FRIENDS AND ALL OF OUR KIDS…ALONE. Why? Because…a pipe burst at “The School” and it was closed on moving day…so Me, two moms, seven kids, and one CDR (trying to enjoy his retirement) got to do it.
Where was the Captain, you may ask…well, the Navy sent him to OHIO, of course. Guess they are getting ready to put an Ocean in Dayton or something and needed the Captain’s assistance. I warned you…it was CRAZY fun!!!
You know what made it over the top? You guessed it…the PAID movers that took EIGHT HOURS to do FOUR hours worth of work. They were so nice, they only put about FOUR gashes in my walls.
That was so much fun that the next day I invited the Cable Guy on a CRAZY rain fun-filled day to “not” hook up my cable properly and drag mud through my new to me house. Just message me and I’ll give you his number so you can invite him to your next “party” cause he is a regular “party” animal.
There is so much more fun to report, but like I said, I don’t won’t to brag so I will just leave you with this last little bit of “fun.”
Tonight when I took Johnny and the Little Brother to the Golden Arches for dinner I got the opportunity to avoid explaining what a “Strip Club” was. Yep, I left it at, “Mommy, look , that place has its windows covered to keep out the light, it must be an arcade and they want to protect their “video” games. Right, Mommy?”
Me – Silent.
Johnny – “No. I think it’s a club. Right, Mommy?”
Me – “Yep, Johnny, it’s a club.”
Johnny – “See, I knew it.”
I don’t want to know how he knew this kind of information…
Johnny – “What kind of club.”
And this is where the FUN just had to end because after living with such wild abandon for an extended period of time it just didn’t seem fair to really brag that I got to use the term “strip club” or “topless dancers” all within five minutes.
Well, by this time, you are soooo jealous you want to know just EXACTLY where I reside so you can use me for a good time so I will just get on with some Friday Fill -In FUN!!
This week’s statements:
1. If ___ then____
2. ____ is my ___ of the ____
3. Once, I was surprised to find myself __________________.
4. To keep from going crazy, I _________.
What you never wanted to know and never asked…
1. If I have any more FUN then I just might start hanging out at those special “video game clubs” to pay for said fun.
2. Stretch marks is my of having all of the fun but never actually having to consider statement #1.
3. Once, I was surprised to find myself living in one house for more than ONE year!
4. To keep from going crazy, I see how fast I can pack up everything my family owns and move it to another location!
Don’t be jealous but as I write the “FUN” continues…Bloody nose on new floor…Don’t everyone come to the party at once…but if you do…bring drinks…party on FUN people!